A father’s story: the joys of shared parental leave

Peter Chellingworth, an IT Department Manager in Egham, shares the highs and very few lows of taking shared parental leave.

Tell us a little bit about your Enterprise career

I joined Enterprise Rent-A-Car in 2004 working in business management the West Midlands regional head office. I relocated to the UK and Ireland Head Office in Egham in 2006 and have taken on a variety of roles that have helped me grow and evolve under the Enterprise ‘roof’.

I’ve now worked in the European Application Development team for most of my career and am currently an IT Department Manager. I work with a diverse team of great people to look after a portfolio of applications supporting our replacement and non-fault business processes.

"if you can make it happen, take shared parental leave. You will not regret it one bit"

Now tell us about your baby!

My daughter, Mavie, is a rainbow baby and she has already given my wife and I more than we could ever have dreamt of. She’s 16 months old, smiley, funny, very loud and very strong willed. She has big blue eyes, curly hair, and a cheeky personality. She loves books, animals, swimming and music. I love spending time with her. She is also about to be a big sister and her baby brother is due this June. I think she’ll be a very sweet big sister.

What’s it like combining parenting with working?

Parenting and working puts new pressures on time. It means I must be ready to switch off, focus on her and provide what she needs. I of course want to present my best self at work and at home.

I find I’m now more focused at work so I can be productive, add value. This means I can then leave work behind and concentrate fully on my daughters needs when the day is finished. I’m fortunate to work for an employer that recognises that flexibility helps me and the company.

"I don’t want to be just a weekend dad. I want my children to understand that having a career we enjoy and put effort into will help us live a rich and fulfilling life"

What was it like thinking ahead about balancing work and parenting?

I signed up to Father Factor which is a group session organised by Talking Talent. This really helped me think about important questions I hadn’t paid attention to yet.

I was encouraged to think about what kind of dad I wanted to be. It also prompted me to talk about my plans with my manager.

One big take away from Father Factor was an exercise called Time Machine.

Imagine you can use a time machine to fast forward 25 years and ask your kids what they remember about their dad. What would you like to hear them say a quarter of a century from now?

I want them to say that I was present, that I was there to support and encourage them.

I don’t want to be just a weekend dad. I want my children to understand that having a career we enjoy and put effort into will help us live a rich and fulfilling life and doesn’t have to stop us from being great parents.

How do you and your partner make things work?

My wife is a serving police officer. This makes things interesting as there are times when her shifts change at short notice, or she might have to deal with a job that could keep her at work longer and disrupt any plans we might have.

We try to communicate with each other constantly. We’ve now got a shared calendar that tells me what shifts we need to work around and lets her know if I have work or social plans that mean she needs to do the nursery drop or pick-up.

So far it has worked well. We let each other know what’s going on all the time. That helps things seem shared and under control.

Tell us about your experience of shared parental leave. What were the highlights? Was there anything that you’d do differently next time?

I’d waited so long to be a dad that I knew very early on that I wanted to take some shared parental leave.

After agreeing things with my wife, I talked with HR to find out what my options were and how it worked. HR was great and very supportive, they even seemed excited for me.

I then discussed taking leave with my line manager. I had been a little apprehensive about having that conversation, concerned about how it would look, and whether my line manager would think that I would be letting the team down. As soon as I started the discussion it put my concerns to rest. My immediate manager and next line manager were both completely supportive.

I took a month of shared parental leave at the end of my wife’s maternity leave while she returned to work. It was such a great month. I had such bold plans: day trips out to see the wider family or to walk up a mountain. Some of these things happened, some didn’t. We still haven’t conquered a mountain but there is plenty of time for that.

We spent days at home playing, and we had days out. We went pumpkin picking for Halloween, we went to the swings, on walks, to playgroups and we even managed a family holiday abroad.

At the end of the month’s parental leave, I felt way more connected with my daughter. Suddenly I was someone she wanted where previously she’d watch her mum walk around the room even though I was right next to her.

It’s not that we didn’t have a bond before, but I really feel like we have a stronger one now because I took shared parental leave.

What was it like coming back to work?

Coming back to work went well. A month passes by quickly and while lots can change the biggest challenge was deleting emails. I came back ready to get stuck in and, because I am part of a great team, everything was under control.

The only thing I might do differently is take more than a month. It went so quickly.

"Father Factor organised by Talking Talent helped me think about important questions I hadn’t paid attention to yet"

How would you advise other parents thinking of sharing parental leave?

Within the first few days, I learned that I was not in charge and that all plans must be jettisoned at Mavie’s behest.

I had been guilty of wondering ‘how?’ when I used to come back from work during my wife’s maternity leave and she would tell me she had not managed to get anything she had planned done.

Shared parental leave showed me how frequently this happens. You wake up with a plan, you start to action the plan. Then something happens. Mavie is hungry, or she needs a new nappy, or she’s tired. There is very little time between breakfast and lunch and a two-hour nap. Then you look at the clock and it’s already 2:30, which means she’ll need feeding before you can do anything. Then it’s full speed ahead to dinner, bath, and bedtime (for you too).

We did all that together and it was a priceless experience, though so often, not planned.

So, my one top tip is this: if you can make it happen, take shared parental leave. You will not regret it one bit.

If you are interested in a career with Enterprise, please visit our recruitment website at careers.enterprise.co.uk