Dealing with infertility issues at work
Warning - this article contains information that some readers may find upsetting
Over 3.5 million people face fertility challenges in the UK but it can feel as though you are the only one struggling when it happens to you. Hearing how others deal with a fertility challenge can help and be a source of support.
Claire Graham, recently promoted to Group Rental Manager in the Northwest, shares her story about having a baby and her commitment to help spread awareness of this heart-breaking issue.
“We started our family plans while I was wanting to continue with my career”
“My journey started when I was about 30, about a year after I got married. We started our family plans while I was wanting to continue with my career. I never considered that there would be any issues with trying to conceive. There was little education on this subject when I was growing up in Ireland. I assumed everything was OK even though nothing was happening.
“After about a year of trying to conceive naturally, we thought about reaching out for advice. After several appointments, tests and scans, the results came back: “unexplained infertility.”
“This was frustrating as we’re both young and healthy, but we retained a positive mindset and decided to explore more options and seek further advice.
“We then started our IVF journey which coincided with the Covid pandemic. This meant that I had to attend the appointments by myself which was difficult to deal with physically and mentally.
“We hadn’t yet spoken to any of our family or friends but once I started the injections, I started to speak openly about what I was going through, especially to my colleagues and managers, who could not have been more supportive.
“I was starting to feel useless and that my body was letting me down”
“We went into IVF uneducated, and we had to research by listening to podcasts and speaking to other people to learn about their stories and over time our knowledge increased.
“We hit our first hurdle at the IVF clinic when they only collected two eggs when on average they collect about 8 to 14 eggs from a woman.
“I was starting to feel useless and that my body was letting me down, but the good news was that both of those eggs had turned into high grade embryos and both survived. I remember speaking with my dad who reminded me that “I only needed one” for a success which put me back into the right mindset.
“The next stage after the eggs are collected is the embryo transfer. This did not go well on the first attempt. It worked on the next try and after a few nervous weeks, I found out I was pregnant. Devastatingly I miscarried quite early.
“I decided to go back to work almost straight away because I needed normality, but it was incredibly difficult. I knew people didn’t know what to say to me and comments like “your time will come” and “at least now you know you can get pregnant” was hard to hear. My Group Rental Manager went above and beyond and gave me the opportunity to talk it out with him and that gave me the support I needed to come back after a difficult time.
“After the procedure we began with the second and last embryo, which was a frozen embryo, whereas the first embryo was a fresh one. This meant the overall process was quicker than the first one but still just as emotionally hard. I just had a gut feeling a few weeks after the second embryo transfer that this was our time, so I did a test by myself. I was completely overjoyed when it confirmed my instinct – I was pregnant!
“It was almost my husband’s birthday, and I hid the test inside a new pair of new trainers to give him an early surprise.
“I decided to go back to work almost straight away because I needed normality, but it was incredibly difficult”
“The IVF process had been equally as tough for him. Having to witness everything I was going through physically and not being able to take any of that pain away was difficult. He would often say that if he could swap places, he would just so I didn’t have to go through it.
“This journey has been both mentally and physically tough from the start. It was important for me to find someone I could talk to, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to do it.
“I used this experience as an opportunity to educate myself on my body and the topic of fertility. I listened to podcasts about other people’s stories and joined Facebook support groups to talk to others going through similar issues. I also took up the practice of gratitude to help me focus on what I’m lucky enough to already have.
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice if something doesn’t seem right”
“My male colleagues have been overwhelming supportive. I felt like I was walking on eggshells the whole time during the first 12 weeks of my second pregnancy, but I was able to get through it with the support of my team, my Group Rental Manager and General Manager. I knew they were making sure my feelings were considered.
“I wish that I knew what I know now when I was in my 20s. My biggest advice is to educate yourself as early as possible. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice if something doesn’t seem right. Most importantly find someone to talk to. It doesn’t matter if it’s a family member, friend, colleague or manager. Talking is the best form of therapy.
Our baby boy Tommy was born at the end of June and we're both so excited to start our next chapter together as parents.
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